The Simple Slice

Be a Yes!

Yes is the best!

There was a time in my life when I let fear run my life and I became a NO.  I didn’t go on ski trips or other trips with my friends, I didn’t live with passion or excitement, I didn’t take chances or try new things, I wasn’t bold and I certainly did not “face my fear and do it anyway”.  In fact, I allowed my fear to take center stage and keep me “safe”.  

If I didn’t go anywhere or try anything new; how could I fail?  If I stayed close to home; how could anything bad happen to me?  The problem I later realized, is that I already had failed and something bad had already happened.  I had cut off my life force and was stuck in fear and inertia.  I felt that NO kept me from choosing the wrong thing, but NO was and is a choice with as many outcomes and consequences as YES. 

NO as a safety net is an illusion.  NO doesn’t keep us safe.  NO doesn’t protect us from failure.  NO doesn’t keep us from choosing, because NO is a choice.  NO is beneficial when used to set healthy boundaries or to let someone know what we stand for, but as a life style, it just keeps us stuck.

 

I remember being around my group of girlfriends one day, and we were reminiscing about trips we had taken and memories we had, and I realized that I wasn’t in a lot of those memories.  It was a time in college when I had a boyfriend and I was doing everything I could to spend as much time as possible with him.  He wasn’t asking me to not go; I stopped going because I was afraid of being without him.  He was my first “real” boyfriend and I was pretty ill-equipped to put myself first and follow my own heart and do what was best for me.  Therefore, I shut myself off from venturing out of my comfort zone and I started turning down invitations.  Worse yet, I started allowing myself to accept things in my relationship that further shut down my zest for life.  I was saying yes to being treated without respect and no to growing, learning and new experiences. 

I eventually ended that relationship but I was still afraid to truly live.  As you can imagine, I was depressed and I didn’t see an end in sight.  I began to read personal growth books and search inwardly.  The turning point came when I realized that even if I stayed home, I still had the fear.  I always believed that I had to change my thoughts first and then when I started feeling better, happier, more confident; I would want to venture forth and chase my dreams.  But it doesn’t work that way and I realized I was missing a vital component to my health and healing – positive ACTION. 

When I realized that I couldn’t put my life on hold while I healed my insecurities, I knew it was time for a change.  I needed to face my fears and one of the most effective ways to do that is to say YES.  One thing is for sure; fear will travel, so waiting for it to disappear before you go or do or be, is a sure way to keep it and not face it.  I decided I would just bring my fear with me and see what happened.  I reasoned I would have a new experience or memory under my belt, and maybe, just maybe I would enjoy myself. 

I began to say YES.  I began by making myself get out.  I began to take action.  I made a conscience effort to do the following:

  

      Accept invitations – Contrary to what you may think, there aren’t an unlimited number of fun people and things to do at any given time, so when someone invites you somewhere – GO!  If we all wait around for the perfect person, place or time; you’ll probably be waiting a long time.  So say yes to the random invites - even if you don't want to; especially if you don't want to.  It feels good to be wanted.  It’s easy; just say YES!

     Break out of the familiar – Being a YES, doesn’t just mean saying yes to what’s comfortable and familiar.  Being a YES means trying new things which in turns opens your mind and your heart and stretches and flexes your imagination; broadens your horizons and gives you fresh perspective.  It does all that?  Yup.  So say YES to a Zumba, yoga or a painting class, to hiking, biking, books, friends, or staying out past your bedtime.  Go on road trips, poke into museums, look into people’s eyes and say hello.  Whatever pushes your limits; start there. 

Don’t think – DO! – Are any of you out there over-thinkers?  Yeah, me neither.  Ha, I wish!  I know it’s difficult, but when opportunity knocks, open the door.  Try not to wonder what’s on the other side.  And even if you do wonder and are over-thinking it, say YES anyway.  The only way to truly know what’s on the other side is to walk thru it and see.  So say YES and “Just Do It”!  Thank you Nike. 

      Stay Open – Whenever we are out to expand our horizons or try something new, we must keep our eyes, mind and hearts open.  It’s good practice to work on staying checked in and mindful.  From time to time, check into those three areas and do a quick scan to see if they are open or closed.  If you find that your heart is feeling closed, you can consciously choose to open it.  It’s the same with your mind.  Hey, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.  Choose an open one! 

There you have it, YES opens us up, while NO closes us down.  Both are useful and have their place, but if you want to experience life to the fullest, YES is the way to go.  Remember, you don’t have to your fear or insecurities in check to be a YES.  Being a YES is a conscience choice on how to live your life.  YES will help you to face your fears and I guarantee you’re going to feel more alive, experience more joy and have a hellava lot more fun than if you close yourself off from life.  

So say YES and enjoy the JOY-ney!!