The Pursuit of Happiness…simple ways to get where you want to go while enjoying today

Mother Nature has a way of stopping us in our tracks.

I recently moved back to my hometown.  It’s a beautiful place filled with all the things that I love; mountains, a gorgeous lake, tons of trails and just about every outdoor activity you can think of.  But the thing that it has that I love the most is my sweetheart, who I finally found at the age of 49.  I have known this wonderful man since I was a five year old girl in this same town, and after all these years and full lives apart, we are finally together and happy.  I moved back to this hometown so we could build a life together.  

So this is what I am dealing with; if one of my life goals was to find a true partner with whom I can share my life with, and that goal is now fulfilled, then why can’t I bask in that serenity and joy for a while?  Hey, don’t get me wrong, I DO bask, but in the back of my brain and many times, right in the forefront, I have the reoccurring and nagging pressure to do more, more, more!  In other words, fulfill my “purpose”, or live up to my potential.  As my sister would say, “Sounds exhausting”.  

So there it is, in the “pursuit of happiness”, do we ever get to stop and just BE happy?  


Why is it that no matter what the hurdle is that has just been cleared, there’s always more waiting in the wings.  The challenge for me is to stay present, grateful, and to truly enjoy this point in my life while considering and being open to new opportunities.  It sounds so simple.  But that’s the rub – simple but not easy.  

Finding my sweetheart, is truly a dream come true – a dream I actually gave up on, but not in a negative way, I just let go of the stigma I attached to myself that I was less than without a man.  Believe me, I worked long and hard on that one.  So now that I have this fun, supportive relationship, I truly would like to let go of the negative feelings I have regarding what I’m doing or not doing.  I have a feeling I’m in for another battle.

So I’m putting some things into practice with the hopes that I can slay this dragon, or at least get it to settle down and take a nap.  One thing that I know for certain is that spinning in my head just keeps me stuck and unhappy. 

One of the books that I love is The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen.  This book is for all procrastinators, (like me), and anyone who wants to get from A to B.  Basically, it says that doing a little bit over time will yield the results you want.  Patience, practice, perseverance.  These are not exactly my strong suits, therefore I’m creating some simple ways to be content now while simultaneously pursuing my future happiness. 

1. Make lists – Now that doesn’t sound revolutionary, but using the list is.  My friend Susan had a cute little notepad that fit handily in her purse.  She told me she writes down everything she’s going to do that day and then crosses it off as she goes.  Genius I thought, I want to do that.  So I went to Staples and got the exact studio C notebook she had, and the Pilot G-2 07 pens she loves and started “listing”.  The key is consistency.  Do I use it every day?  No, but I try to use it most days.  I write down things that I want to do and things I have to do and the things I know I will do.  I get the things in my head where they can torture me, and put them on paper where I can manage them.  If I don’t do something one day, I circle it and add it to the next day, or on a running list for bigger things. 
2. Use a timer – A timer for me is the signal that something is being committed to and when the buzzer goes off, a goal has been completed; success!  Right now my timer is set for 20 minutes – 20 minutes to write.  I can go from excited to depressed in a matter of minutes getting enthusiastic about what I want to do and then immediately feeling overwhelmed by the doing of it.  I love the idea, but the doing requires SO much effort.  Therefore the timer.  I can endure just about anything for 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes, even the things I want to do.   
3. Face the pessimism – As chronicled above, I am an optimistic pessimist or a pessimistic optimist.  Yup, I struggle sometimes.  I want beauty, love, peace and happiness, but I can run myself down like a freight train on full steam.  For this, I’m working on relaxing and releasing.  In the awesome book, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer.  I’m learning to not only become aware of what I’m saying to myself, but to not give undo weight to my thoughts by relaxing my heart and letting them go; freeing them like clouds on a breezy day.  This is great practice, because I love the idea of relaxing my heart.  I like being in touch with my heart and letting it guide me rather than my head.  My head tends to be a trouble maker. 
4. Go outside – Getting outside and looking around, moving my body and filling my senses with the bounty that is around me, connects me to the here and now.  I try and get a little exercise but the goal isn’t tightening my muscles or increasing my cardio, but to use the great outdoors as a way of staying in the present and appreciating where I am and who I am.  The practice of going outside is getting lost as we become more and more tied to our devices.  It’s a trap to think we are staying connected to the world because we have the world at our fingertips.  I want to connect to the universe, the awesome mysterious miracle that is life, so I go outside every day, walk my dogs, breathe, and say to myself, “This is God”.

I hope you didn’t think I was going to give you some “quick fix” epiphany on how to find happiness.  One thing I’ve learned over the years is that big epiphanies are all about small practices every day.  For me, the above practices are epiphanies.  Remember, it’s the “pursuit of happiness” and we must pursue the steps over and over for it become a habit.  Like most things, we don’t usually “get there”, but repetition creates the positive pattern which will someday become part of us.  So in the pursuit of happiness let’s practice, practice, practice and learn to appreciate the JOYney!